Juggling all the plates
My best friend’s plate just arrived. Steam rises above her over easy eggs and breakfast potatoes. My dogs jump up and lick the air as if they can taste it. I came to this cafe today to get some work done and catch up with my bestie who I haven’t seen in weeks.
We updated each other mostly on the professional states of our lives. She joyfully shared her new promotion and her new role where she feels like she’s a party planner.
Not gonna lie, I’m jealous (and I’m not referring to the breakfast potatoes). I’m so desperately craving the ideal state of life where you do something you’re passionate about that also happens to provide you with financial stability. That exists, right?
I remember the laughs my Gen-X sister and Boomer parents gave me when I told them - with all the conviction a high schooler could muster - that I would find a job I love and get rich from it. Their laughs and eye rolls did nothing to hide just how naive they thought I was. At the time, I thought they were nothing more than pessimists wrapped up in the grind of capitalism. There wasn’t a doubt in my high school mind that I’d prove them wrong.
Now, more than 15 years since witnessing those laughs, I find myself actually understanding where my sister and parents were coming from (don’t tell my high school self).
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve gotten tastes of a life where passion meets money. In Korea, I lived in a studio apartment completely paid for by my school, where I rode a bike every day, had glorious mountains as the backdrop of my morning commute, and was physically the healthiest I’ve ever been in my life. My salary was humble, but without income tax or housing costs, I was able to live beyond comfortably and even make student loan payments each month. On top of that, I discovered a job that was equally as challenging as it was rewarding: teaching.
In Turkey, I worked at the highest paying school in the country, where yet again, the majority of my housing costs were covered by my school. I lived in a modern, two-bedroom apartment with an indoor and outdoor pool, sauna, gym and 24/7 security. I got to explore Istanbul, one of those most beautiful and energetic cities in the world. The value of being paid in US dollars in Turkey also allowed me to live the highest quality of life I’ve ever had.
I know what you’re thinking: So what happened, Molly? Why’d you ever stop teaching abroad if it was that great?
I find myself questioning the same thing from time to time. Especially days like today, where I’m sitting at a cafe and relaying some messy professional updates to my best friend, who seems to have a much more stable life than I do.
In case you’ve come across me for the first time, I feel obligated to tell you that for the past six months I’ve walked away from my teaching career to pursue social media full time. Since 2022 while living in Turkey, I started posting TikToks as a side gig to share my love of interior design. Over time it developed into full-on lifestyle content where I share anything and everything about my life to 188k+ people. And there are months where I make more than double what I was making as a teacher.
Sounds like yet again I’m living that “passion meets money” dream, huh? Well, the fact of the matter is, there is much more to the story (as there always is).
Korea was an eye-opening, peaceful and fulfilling experience in all the ways stated above, but my mom got diagnosed with stage 4 terminal cancer halfway through my one-year contract. To no surprise, that completely changed my outlook and trajectory. Honestly, I probably would have stayed in Korea for another year or two had it not been for her devastating prognosis.
In Turkey, I was living glamorously in a multicultural city. However, my school was corrupt and toxic and one of my male superiors verbally harassed me. I received virtually no practical support from HR and my administration to cope with the abuse, and because of that, my mental health deteriorated. I resigned midyear and absolutely everything fell apart. I was forced to leave my beloved dogs behind (that’s a story for another day, but rest assured they’re safe and sound with me now!), move into my best friend’s living room in my hometown of Buffalo, New York, and secure a new teaching job as soon as possible (thankfully I did, but that’s also a story for another day).
Now, I find myself in a different kind of predicament, but with similar themes. There are elements currently out of my control that have negatively impacted my life. Elements like a corrupt president and fascist oligarchy. Elements like being locked out of my main TikTok account with no response from technical support.
What the hell am I doing? Do I go back to teaching? Do I double down on social media and diversify my reach on different platforms? Do I get part time work in my community? Do I pursue something different entirely, like political advocacy?
I’m pursing all options at this point. I’m a performer in a circus, juggling a massive pile of plates as the crowd throws tomatoes at me. I don’t know when the performance will end, but I sure as hell hope it ends where passion meets money (so my high school self can be proven right).